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Our need to Compare

From time to time we all fall into the trap of comparing our life to someone else. We look at others and wish we had what they had or were doing what they were doing.

Comparison is something I openly admit I struggle with.

As far back as I can remember I’ve always had this feeling of not quite measuring up to where I thought I should be.

As a child I wanted the freedom I thought other kids my age had. As a teenager I craved acceptance like everyone else seemed to have. As a college student I needed to prove I could make it through school when people said it was too tough. When I entered the work force I strove for perfection in my tasks to the point of exhaustion.

Through all of these stages of life I’ve had moments where I’ve felt alone & confused with an over whelming sense of uncertainty. Fortunately, I’ve had some amazing people in my life that have helped guide me to a few a-ha moments where things became clear…I could see how my internal dialogue needed to change drastically.

This is where my mind is at today.

When we compare ourselves to someone else we instantly loose sight of where we are at. We forget about how far we have come. All that hard work to get here just slips away like it didn’t even happen. The truth is it did & you’ve worked your ass off to get here so give yourself some credit.

We will always compare our absolute worst with someone else’s absolute best. That my friend, is a recipe for disaster! We are all on our own path, we may end up at the same place but there are about a 100 different ways to get there, none of them wrong.

It’s a complete waste of my precious time & energy comparing myself to others. It only lead down a slippery slope to jealousy & resentment and that is not how I want to spend my time!

I have my own passions, talents & gifts to share with this world. I was created to be me, 100% truly me, so I know I have a purpose.

I can still be dragged into the quagmire (I am human) but when that happens I try to remember these simple  paradigms from Danielle LaPorte.

Recognize what your feeling & why. When we take time to recognize how we are feeling it can actually point us to what it is we want. For example if  your constantly envious of a person who does a ton of traveling well then maybe it’s time to grab your passport & pack your bags…that little twinge of jealousy may have just uncovered a real desire to travel.

Shift your perspective. Instead of instantly being envious take a moment to bless that person for being who they are. Replace that envy your feeling with gratitude. Wish the best for them in their life…it’s not their life your living, it’s your own! 

In the end just let your own light shine, the world will be a better place for it.


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